Been a Minute
It’s not writer’s block. There is instead flow. Though this has not translated into great outputs, instead it’s been slow, small little fragments of praise songs. It’s been the small moments shared and long lines of texts. It’s been an education and a re-education. It’s been learning and seeing anew all that has always been present. It’s been moving from what was closed off and stacked away like dusty boxes in a forgotten garage. A forgotten life. Dead dreams, sleeping cats and a hidden existence. Abandoned hopes and regret in tears. Giant, overwhelming fears and the small daily horrors of being; a being of light in a world of dark. And the magical moments of daily life in a world bursting with life. In little budding stems and old roots slowly drying up in a drought. It’s been the chill of spring winds and the warmth of summer sunshine peeking through this veil of being. It’s been intense heat and shade stolen under giant oaks. It’s been and remains the journey of Time, eternal and quietly ebbing away. It’s been springs and vistas, mountain and sea, bees and making the day whole from the broken fragments of what was once whole. It’s been losing the will, finding the way, breaking the mould and quietly fitting in. Seeking in word, thought and deed to remake what was always there, unmake what never belonged and owning every little step taken and promise broken. Looking into the abyss and seeing the abyss finally stare back. It’s been falling and floating. It’s been crashing and burning. It’s been lighting fires to burn away the muck of that we would rather forget and remembering every deed and word that has taken away peace. It’s been making peace, inside and out with all that was wrong and setting whatever can be to rights. It’s been debates and silence. Flights of fancy and epic frights at what has been fouled. It’s been clearing away the dead, pruning and feeding what might, in Time’s grace, regrow. It’s been the buzzing noise of movement and repair and the deathly silence of the dark hours when it’s just the world that stands in judgement. It’s been judgement of self and everyone and everything. It’s been shedding that too and seeing only what is, the way it is. Accounting for the losses, the missteps, the fears and favours, preparing a litany. It’s been sitting on the ground and leaping into the water. It’s been dark and cold. Light and warm. It’s been tears and laughter. Madness and peace. Winter and Spring. Each season, a mirror to vanity and ego. Hiding away from the mirror and looking into it, bleary eyed and teary hearted. Clear eyed and light hearted. Covering the mirror and looking away, unwrapping the mirror and being to face each other through the form. It’s been a minute.
Been a minute is a tribute to lodestars in human form.
© Jesh Baker for Oppi Stoep 2023, All Rights Reserved
